THE HISTORY OF TOM DESLONGCHAMP Welcome to a journey through Tom's past days. We have no time machine, so we have to just look at pictures and pretend we're actually there. Awesome.   I came out of my mom's stomach on October 7th, 1984. My parents were a little disappointed, because I was born a FROG (see photo). Eventually I converted to HUMAN and learned to focus my eyes.

Then I gained a bunch of weight, as well as some hair. I was becoming a man(see 1x6).

I dropped some pounds and learned how to lick toy cows. I was becoming a child, or toddler, more than ever before.

I soon moved on from my cow-licking onto more profound lickage: windows! Here's me slathering up the side window.

Window-licking got old, so I spiced things up with SKATEBOARDING IN THE SNOW with my freaking galoshes on!! Not to mention my totally rad, multicolored ski jacket.

But who could leave out Halloween? I can't. Check out my older brother Jason (Chuck Norris) and me (Native American Chief thing). Soooo awesome.

And Christmas for gosh sakes. Here's Christmas. I got a totally awesome fire truck. I was happy.

THEN I CAUGHT A FISH!There was a man attatched to the fish by his finger. I decided to keep him. He is my servant. After that catch, my face was never dirty again.

I FELL into the water!(where fish live) I saw an eye of a fish. I couldn't swim, so luckily my servant pulled me out of the water. He wrapped me in his jacket so I wouldn't die of cold.

THE END
PSYCH! I'm totally still alive. Go to my website: Tomthinks.com